Aug 08 | CPE Journal #23: July 13th

It remains amazing to me that in the most unlikely and ordinary, unremarkable places, God can enter in and overwhelm. Sometimes it’s quiet on the mountaintop.

I was watching Florence and the Machine sing this song and then started thinking of all the things in my lifetime that led me up to today: waiting for tomorrow, which up until now is going to be one of the most important days of my life. Tomorrow I will hear the verdict from my discernment group on whether or not I will pass on to Examining Chaplains, the next step in the process toward becoming a priest.

I sat listening to the song and looked up at the icon I wrote of the Mandylion quite a few years ago. As I gazed into it, I felt seen by the quiet white eyes, seen and loved and known. And I could also see the flickering fire for which I have been reaching. I can see who I could be. I can see where I have been forged and scorched and torn and mended and ravished and broken free. I can see what is breaking open and being born in my own heart. I can see a sweet river flowing from a riven side, a sweet river of saints.

And I can see myself diving in.

-Clarity