Jun 01 | CPE Journal #5: May 30th

I have so come to treasure the group. It is a beautiful thing. I am finally coming to accept my emotions and not label them as negative or positive – simply as emotions. Previously, I had labelled things like anger as “negative” emotions, and my supervisor gently challenged me: “Why is anger negative? Why is it not simply an emotion we experience? It is not a bad thing to be angry.” I feel safe; my supervisor is a good, safe pastoral presence.

I am slowly learning who I am, and as I sit and remember the conversation I had yesterday with my spiritual director, he said that sometimes I think and analyze too much when my heart doesn’t need this level of consideration – it just knows and accepts. Today my supervisor asked me who I was, and I said, “I don’t know who I am, but I know who I belong to.” I don’t know what I would do without God.

I have been visiting and making lots of connections on my unit, and I pray for them. They are beautiful and a gift. Am I beautiful and a gift?

My motto for learning in this course was “Share the light of the world.” How can I share it if I don’t believe I have it within me?

-Clarity